Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize