Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
