My cat gives me a boner
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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