Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
