I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
