these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
