That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
tell me about the eggs
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
