please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
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When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
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My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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