yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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