You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
