Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
