I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
