Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Randomize
