weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
