I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
