two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
