Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
