I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I think I am morally bankrupt
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize
