Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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