U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
