if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
