I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
