haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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