yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
