I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
You ruined the universe
Randomize
