So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
