apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Randomize