just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Help. Why am I so naked?
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