problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Randomize
