Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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