My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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