someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
