My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
