Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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