we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
