What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize