Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize