Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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