Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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