Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
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Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
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Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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