is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
