Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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