I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
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