I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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