Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
