I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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