i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
