david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
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