Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize