So drunk its hurt
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
