So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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