end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
