you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
