You're so nebulous sometimes
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
How external is "for external use only"?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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