thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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