Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
