Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
