she was so not down for the gang bang
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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