its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
