i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
