I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
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I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
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Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize