please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Randomize
