I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
