a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
nutella sex= disaster
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
