Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
im on a boat
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